8 Powerful Frameworks That Shaped My Life and Work
An Essay on How Frameworks Have Helped Me Navigate Challenges—and How They Can Help You Too
Frameworks are part of our everyday lives, whether you are aware of them or not—they guide us, shape our behavior, and solve our most complex issues. In fact, I believe our civilization wouldn’t be here without frameworks.
A framework is anything that brings order to a situation. It’s a systematic and structured way to approach things.
Frameworks are embedded in our everyday lives without us knowing—think about traffic lights, laws, etc. They guide us when we need to do something and we don’t know how. They also provide a common ground in which we can collaborate. Frameworks shape how we perceive and present ourselves in the world.
In this post, I want to share why I think frameworks are crucial to collaboration, how they have helped me, and how they can help us in our everyday lives. I’ll discuss eight frameworks that have proved useful for me over the last couple of years and how they have influenced my life and work.
It is not necessary to go through all the frameworks. Read the TL;DR and choose whatever resonates with you, then let go of the rest.
So, without further ado, please dive in, explore, and discover how these frameworks might transform your life, too.
TL;DR
Frameworks are tools that bring structure and clarity to life’s challenges. They’ve helped me navigate everything from leadership struggles to personal growth. In this post, I share 8 frameworks that have shaped my thinking:
Law of Diffusion of Innovations – Launch ideas effectively.
Extreme Ownership – Take full responsibility.
Do Things That Don’t Scale – Focus on personal connections.
Nonviolent Communication – Improve communication and empathy.
The Six Conversations – Build community and belonging.
The Four Noble Truths – Understand and overcome suffering.
The Eightfold Path – Live ethically and intentionally.
Life Transitions Framework – Navigate change with clarity.
These frameworks aren’t perfect, but they’ve been transformative for me. Dive in, take what resonates, and see how they might help you, too.
Frameworks Are Embedded in Our Everyday Lives
The most common framework that everybody uses without knowing it is… TIME. Or, more precisely, timekeeping devices—THE CLOCK being the most famous one.
Let’s suppose you need to meet with a friend. You say, “Hey, Jemma, let’s meet at my house.” The next question you should expect from your friend Jemma is… “When? At what time?” Which makes sense; Jemma needs a place and a specific time to meet you. If you want to meet with someone, you must always provide a place and a time.
I assume meeting a person without providing a time must be really difficult.
So, instead of saying, “Hey, Jemma, let’s meet at my house,” you should say, “Hey, Jemma, let’s meet at my house at 3:45 PM.” if Jemma has a timekeeping device, such as a clock, she will be able to meet you at your place without any issues.
It’s easy to understand why humans invented time-keeping devices. Time and time-keeping devices brought a systematic and structured approach to this issue. They allowed us to make agreements and collaborate.
Frameworks like time are embedded in our everyday lives. Think about languages, traffic lights, laws, and so on. Can you imagine a traffic jam without traffic lights? Can you imagine a country without laws? It must be a crazy situation… Our civilization is better because of our frameworks—they are not perfect but useful. Frameworks allow us to come together and collaborate, and the world is better because of them.
How Frameworks Have Shaped My Worldview
I have faced many issues in my life. However, whether it has been dealing with anxiety, stress, or lack of purpose, I have always found a framework to approach such situations.
I like to think that if you can articulate a problem properly, you can always find a framework to help you solve it.
I’ve done this all my life. Whenever I face an issue, I try to articulate my problem as much as possible and then seek a framework that helps me solve or understand it.
Frameworks have given me systematic ways to approach life, allowing me to bring order to this crazy experience.
Here is a list of eight frameworks I’ve encountered over the last few years that have proved useful for me.
1. The Law of Diffusion of Innovations
I have always been opinionated. I am driven to solve problems and find efficient solutions to them. However, there was a time when I didn’t know how to use this talent in a useful way.
I failed to launch several initiatives in my early career years. I wanted to share my ideas with the world, but I didn’t know how.
Eventually, I discovered Simon Sinek's interpretation of the Law of Diffusion of Innovations, which gave me a useful framework for launching successful initiatives.
2. Extreme Ownership
Given I failed so many times at launching initiatives at some point, I fell under the narrative of:
“My ideas are great but people won’t let me do anything…”
I was locked in this victim mindset for a couple of years until I watched a podcast where Ex-navy SEAL Jocko Willink was talking about “Extreme Ownership.”
Put simply, extreme ownership is short for “everything is your fault.”
The idea that “everything is your fault” was revolutionary to me. I didn’t realize how blaming other people—even in unconscious manners—hindered my opportunity to have a positive impact so much.
The idea of extreme ownership equipped me with a framework for a different kind of leadership, one in which I was not a victim but responsible for everything. This framework proved useful in the years to come.
3. Do Things That Don’t Scale
A couple of years ago, when I was trying to build my own company, I read an article from Paul Graham that said, “Do things that don’t scale.”
As a software engineer, reading something like that was provocative. Everything we are taught is to build things that scale. Now, I found this guy saying I should do things that don’t scale. On top of that, he happens to be the co-founder of Y Combinator, one of the biggest startup accelerators nowadays. Really?
Paul Graham’s mindset was very counterintuitive to me. However, adopting his mindset gave me a useful framework for my work. It pushed me to care less about systems and more about the individual because, at the end of the day, the system is made out of small individuals interacting with each other.
That’s how I went from “Here’s my idea, and this is my solution…” to “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll talk to everyone and co-create the solution based on their ideas.”
Doing things that don’t scale helped me to create more collaborative environments within my team. It also helped me get closer to people and ask them about their struggles. It helped me design solutions tailored to their needs, not based on what I thought would be useful.
4. Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
One day, a dear friend recommended a book called “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg.
After a couple of months, I gave it a try. The moment I read these two fragments I realized I knew practically nothing about communication…
Source: Chapter 7—Receiving Empathically. Extracted from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
Marshall Rosenberg’s communication framework improved my communication and helped me connect with myself. It also helped me connect with other people and communicate less violently. This framework benefited my work and relationships a lot. It is one of the most influential frameworks I’ve encountered so far…
5 . The Six Conversations
My leadership style changed significantly after I read “Community: The Structure of Belonging” by Peter Block.
The main idea I took from the book is that a leader's job is to bring people together, ask questions, and create spaces where community members discuss such questions.
Peter's framework comprises six conversations every community, group of people, or team should have at some point. The conversations are invitation, possibility, ownership, dissent, commitment, and gifts.
In opening those conversations, leaders foster a sense of belonging, ownership, and accountability in the community or group of people.
After reading the book, I started having some of those conversations with my team. I even included some of those questions in my team retrospectives. It opened new doors and showed me a different way to lead.
6. The Four Noble Truths
At some point in my life, I felt completely lost and did not enjoy it. I had everything I was supposed to have, yet I wasn’t happy.
Until I was 28 years old, I considered I had “a great life” with no major problems. But between 28 and 30, I had the “two worst years” of my life. It was a nerve-wracking period. However, I grew in ways I hadn’t thought about before, and now I feel grateful.
The Four Noble Truths, a Buddhist teaching, helped me through this situation.
This framework is really simple yet very profound. It contains “four noble truths.” The are:
Suffering exists. You need to acknowledge you are suffering before you make any changes.
There are causes that give rise to suffering. There are reasons you suffer; part of your job is understanding them.
The end of suffering is possible. Once you understand why you suffer, you instantly know the end of suffering is possible.
There’s a path leading to the end of suffering. There’s a “right way” to live so you don’t suffer.
Understanding that I shouldn’t run away from suffering but be able to look deeply into it was something very new for me. If you are someone like me, this probably feels a bit weird to you. But it helped me to gain the peace I needed at that moment.
This framework changed significantly the way I looked at life situations and to be more understanding and patient about how life unfolds.
I wrote one article inspired by this framework. Here it is in case you want to check it out: Opening to Suffering.
7. The Eightfold Path
Living an ethical life has been important to me, but I didn’t know what it meant.
I was taught to be respectful, to treat others how you want to be treated, not lie, and so on—I was taught what we would call “good manners.” But at some point in my life, I was not sure that was everything I needed to live “an ethical life.” I was unsatisfied with my view of the topic and searched for a better framework.
That’s how, in 2022, I came across a book called “Good Citizens” by Thich Nhat Hanh. The book is a universal ethical treaty for all humanity based on the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path—both Buddhist teachings.
The Eightfold Path gave me a framework for living a good and ethical life. It completely changed my approach to life. It is also one of the most influential books (and frameworks) I’ve read so far.
8. William Bridges Life Transition’s framework.
Over the last year, I have felt lost in different areas of my life. July 2023 to May 2024 were really tough periods for me. What was more difficult about it was that, at some point, I thought I was getting crazy. No one was able to understand me—I think not even my therapist.
In my search for clarity, I came across a book called Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes. When I read it, everything came into place. It was like drinking some water after being thirsty for a long time.
In this book, the author states the difference between change and transition. Change is situational, while transition is psychological. For example, moving to a new city or country is a change that happens almost instantly. One day, you are in one city; the other day, you are in another. On the other hand, adapting to a new city or country, fitting in, or accepting a new culture is completely different. Such adaptation requires a transition; it requires psychological changes. Unlike a change, a transition can take months or even years.
Around his idea of transitions, the author develops a framework for understanding life transitions, which he states are characterized by three stages: endings, neutral (transitioning) zone, and beginning.
Endings are characterized by the termination of something. A new beginning always follows an ending, but before you move ahead, you must undergo a transitioning zone, a neutral zone. It is in the neutral zone where the transition happens. The person has the opportunity to heal old wounds, understand what they need to let go of, explore different aspects of their personality, and even redefine it.
Coming across this book and framework was refreshing and insightful. The author articulated a problem I had not been able to articulate, and even better, he developed a framework to help me navigate it.
This framework immediately became one of the most influential frameworks I’ve encountered so far, not only because of the wisdom ingrained in it but also because of the timing when I read it.
The Usefulness and Downside of Frameworks
As you can see, frameworks have helped me improve my leadership and communication skills while navigating troublesome life situations.
Frameworks are useful because they bring order to life situations and equip us with systematic ways to approach things.
However, they are not without flaws. Their biggest downside is that they are very easy to become attached to. When you do, dogmatic views start to appear.
Why? When a framework works for you, you think you are right. Therefore, other people should listen to you. That’s how you get at risk of feeling righteous and wanting to impose your point of view on other people.
You don’t think this is true? Look at any discussion in politics, culture, religion, or whatever. The premise is always the same: “I am right, you are wrong. We are right you are wrong.”
Just because a framework works for you doesn’t mean it needs to work for everybody. Try to keep your mind as open as possible.
Stay open a little bit longer. Understanding each other is difficult, but that doesn’t mean we should despair or go to war. Next time you disagree with someone, consider for a moment you might be operating under different frameworks, and what seems false to you may be true under a different framework than yours.
One of the greatest strengths of our human species is the ability to collaborate—massively. Our civilization is much better because of frameworks. Without them, we would live in a much more chaotic place.
You are partially right if you already think the world is chaotic and frameworks are useless. Yes, the world is chaotic, but that doesn’t mean we need to despair; we only need better frameworks to make it more harmonious for everyone.
Final Thoughts
Frameworks are what we make of them. They can bring us together or separate us. Use them wisely.
Stay humble, stay open.
Thanks for reading, and see you at the next one.
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